my boys, my life

At my doctor's office - getting the scroogie. 

(While my kids are so good while waiting for 1-1/2 hours for nothing, unless you count the good news that they don't think I need neck surgery on my disc herniations at C3/4, C4/5, C5/6, and C6/7)

Waiting at Publix for my prescriptions to be filled. 

Notice Isaac's little breakdance moves (kinda)

I've been busy - but who hasn't right?  It's the busy time of year - the stressful season.  I love my boys, but haven't been posting much here.  I slacked on that whole Photo A Day thing Lacey started at ACOT. 

Some thoughts on my boys:

Isaac isn't a good sleeper - never has been.  He laughingly fights bedtime.  He still wakes up in the middle of the night but I don't so it's ok.  Either I'm still up so I can go put him back in his bed after reassuring him, or Steven brings him in bed with us and I wake up next to a cuddly cute big baby.  Isaac is brave though, and fun, and funny.  He likes to try things - like breakdancing.  We had a "you had to be there" moment when Dylan, Isaac, and their Uncle JT were break dance battleing - some day JT will youtube it for us.  Jonathan did some moves, then Dylan did his own moves, then Isaac went in and did some sweet moves including incorporating those he had just watched 2 people ago. 

Isaac loves to tell me he loves me - either vocally or with sign language.  He knows me:)  He will also give me random kisses on whatever part of me at the level of his lips.  It's sometimes my knee or my wrist hanging down by my side.  He'll also give me kisses on my face of course.  I love how sweet he is. 

He's also still stubborn in a sweet way that forces me into getting better at hiding my laughs.  Like when I asked him to peel the orange by the trash can instead of in the middle of the floor.  He walked to the trash can, then turned his back to it.  He put the peel pieces behind his back into the trash can.  What am I supposed to say to that?  I just look at Steven and we silently laugh.  We learn to pick out battles, but with him - we REALLY have to back up our "or else"s.  Like when I told him he could jump up and down AFTER we put his PJs on, but he had to cooperate for Daddy first.  We were frustrated with his slap-happiness so almost had him go right into saying family prayers with us - but I reminded Steven that we had to let him jump up and down a little first.  It worked.  He thought he had won, but knew it was on my terms. 

Dylan is a silly kid.  He comes up with funny phrases and words.  There's a really old Disney movie, "Jack and the Beanstock" where the giant sings something like "Fee fi fo fum, fee fi fi fi, I don't know no fi fi" and the kids crack up.  Now, Dylan calls things "fi fi" then laughs.  I ignored it at first, but his little cousin Coby fed on Dylan's silliness so the dang word stuck.  Dylan will say "hey Fi fi" for a person, or "what the fi fi!" while laughing.  Now he knows we don't like it, but he asks "may I say it when you're not here?"  No, say "what the what!" or something else, little silly. 

Dylan loves his new footy PJs and knows he's extra cuddly in them so he snuggles up to us or asks, "don't you want to cuddle with me Mom?!"  Of course I do:)  Dylan likes things to be fair so he'll taddle.  Lately I've been "punishing" him by having him let Isaac appologize the long way for the little things Dylan complains about like an accidental double head bonk.  I have Isaac say "I"m sorry, it was an accident, I won't do it again, how can I make it better?"  Dylan has to repeat "I forgive you."  I then have Isaac kiss the bonk to make it better.  By this point they're sorta laughing but Dylan is annoyed that I took him away from their fun wrestling match or whatever to go through the drill because now, I ask them to hold hands and look each other in they eyes.  This is what my mom had us do and we had the same eye rolling reaction.  They then sing "I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see.  So I say to myself, remember this - Kindness Begins With Meeeeeeeee!"  Then sometimes I make them hug, but instead of each other (because I'm selfish) I make them hug me and I kiss their necks 'til we fall over or I pick them up and fly them around me in circles and we all agree that everything is ok. 

So I'm really glad I have these boys 2 years apart.  It's just perfect right now.  I feel guilty when I turn on a movie for them so I can get some work done, but they're so good at playing together even w/o the TV-babysitter.  Yes they're crazy mess makers who are always hungry and thirsty, but that's a fun price to pay for happy creative pretenders.  I mentioned on facebook how glad I am that Dylan has a little brother because they play together so well when I neglect them.  I got comments back about how they're ready for a little sister to annoy.  They are ready, but I'm not.  Corrie is pregnant, so I'll have her newborn to play with.  I do want another baby or two, but right now it seems so perfect with my business and their happiness and Steven's helpfulness.  It seemed too soon to have them 2 years apart - but in this long run - it's working out.  Maybe I'll have to do this again - have 2 close together. 

Also, Steven told me something this evening.  I was going to do some sort of recap of my first official fishy face photography year over on that blog.  I was going to do a cutest kid contest of some kind to drive people over to that blog to vote on their favorite baby face (form some of my clients).  I'd offer a print credit or something to the winners.  But Steven told me what he thinks - that I don't know how good I have it.  That's my side job.  I have a day job, and in fact, I only work at my day job 2 days/week.  I also am in charge of other things/organizations/events, so why add more to my plate.  I don't need to go all out do extra things or compare myself with my favorite photographer who does this as one of only two full time jobs.  (Being a wonderful practically perfect mom/wife/sister/cousin/etc is her other job.)  I don't need to try to drum up more business.  In fact, I had to turn like 10 families away for Christmas/other pictures this year.  He wanted me to start a business not because I need to work more, but because I was doing it anyway and people should respect all of the time I put into it.  He is proud of me for turning clients away (although I HATE that I had to do that) and he tells me that it's not healthy for me to stay up 'til 4am so many nights/week.  His point is that I have a husband who supports me, I have a great day job, we have such fun boys that I get to play with, and if I work less, I could actually be an even better mom (and wife) because I could be as healthy as I want to be.  Plus, I'm not pocketing the money - it's going back into the business, so it's not like it's helping the family out just yet.  If I worked smarter (and by this he means less) I could work out every day, I could get enough sleep, and I wouldn't have as much stress and I could be so healthy.  He pointed out that I create my own stress.  He's right.  So I'm not going to do a cutest kid contest.  They're all cute!  I am going to work smarter and not harder next year.  I'm going to still need to work more to save up for some things that the business needs, but I'll start paying myself.  (Right now I put the money I make right back into the proof orders, supplies, gas money, and babysitter money so I'm not making much at all.)  This was my portfolio building year, so next year I'm going to charge more and will probably shoot less (well maybe).  I've warned my clients lots and lots of times - that they can buy gift certificates or book and pay a deposit by Dec 31st if they want this year's prices.  I LOVE what I do.  And to be honest, I'm not stressed out.  I knew this would be the busy season.  I'm still going to keep up with the research and the latest and greatest in the child photography area, but I'll maintain a standard instead of getting ahead of myself.  I'll also probably stay in Pinellas County unless I charge enough.  I've lost money the 3 times I left the county for sessions because I'm too nice. 

So basically I'm the luckiest girl in the world because of my supportive smart husband and my silly smart boys.  I'm going to take this holiday season to just bath in the warmth of family, traditions, reading scriptures by the candle light (while re-lighting it because Isaac "accidentally blew it out again" then told me he loves me so it's ok."