my two new picture frames

There's no other love like the love for a brother.
There's no other love like the love from a brother.


-- Astrid Alauda


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*Journal entry warning* Stop reading, there will be no more photos, but I have lots on my mind so I'm editing this post to add words.
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I was going to leave it at that, but my mom/family are all at work now, so I can't talk out all of my thoughts.  I have plenty.  I couldn't get to sleep last night b/c I wanted to be prepared . . . for a girl.  I was worried I wouldn't know what to do w/ a girl and lots of girly things around my house.  But I was bracing myself and getting more excited.  I was wondering how to announce it and had lots of random brainstorm ideas for photos.  I wasn't coming up with anything great, so I blogged regular posts of some of our past week.  Then I went to bed.  I was hoping to have girly dreams, but don't remember anything. 

I woke up and didn't go back to snoozing.  The kids woke up on their own like usual a little bit after.  I picked out both red and blue shirts for them with plans on turning their red ones pink in photoshop for the internet revelation.  On the way there, Dylan asked Isaac, "Why do you want another boy, we already have enough boys in this family?"  Isaac just chanted that he wanted a boy and added his common back seat chant, "and I want Taco Bell."  I laughed and so did Dylan.  Dylan said "well I want a girl and I want Uncle Donalds."  (Malia's way of saying McDonalds.)  Then Dylan asked why we didn't laugh and only smiled. 

We went to the appointment and the usually bubbly talkative accommodating ultrasound tech was clearly annoyed by the presence of my 2 boys and husband.  I told her that we were all excited to find out the gender.  She quickly told me that she would go through about 10 min of measuring and we probably wouldn't recognize anything at all.  Then, routinely, she asked, "At the end of the measurements for the doctor, if I can tell the gender, would you like me to tell you?"  I was still happy and excited so I pretended it wasn't the world's dumbest question and said yes.  I pointed out to my kids the head, and how she was measuring the circumference and the baby's toes and how the baby was stroking "her" cheek with "her" cute hand while the tech was silent.  (Yea, I slipped and started pretending it was a girl.  I said "him" with the first ultrasound because that's all I knew and was used to it.)  Anyway, the tech warmed up and saw that my kids weren't climbing all over things I guess and she relaxed enough to show us one angle of the "it's a boy" image.  She did print copies of a profile this time and others - doubles even so Steven could take one to work.  I think I was just extra emotional or on nerve.  She's usually the most friendly tech I've worked with.  She probably had a bad experience with crazy toddlers or something. 

Anyway, so instead of taking a photo of us in our blue or pink./red shirts for my blog announcement, because I couldn't keep my mouth shut with what date and time my ultrasound was, people were already texting ME while I was at the OB appointment.  So we texted back our family the exciting news. 

Good reactions.  2 people thought we had the baby just now and were worried.  Others were surprised.  Steven said that people at his work feel sorry for me.  I don't like that.  I mean it's no secret that I was anxious about it being a girl, but it's just that.  Most people assumed I was hoping that the third one would be a charm so I could stop.  I've always said that I would have one and see.  Then another and see.  Now I say the same thing - we'll see how this one goes.  I have 3 little brothers, have babysat mostly boys, and 2 families with 3 boys each, and I love how the brothers fight, play, and share together.  I can picture that, and it's probably what I'm cut out for.  It's all of this assuming that's getting to me I think. 

I dropped the cute kids off at their preschool where the teachers shared mixed reactions.  Some said that I have the cutest boys and she's just so excited to see the next little stepping stone of cute babies, but one said that she needs to teach me how to make baby girls, and she whispered how to "do it" in my ear!  Really?  I've heard about people not wanting their bellies to be touched, but you can rub my belly all you want as long as you don't give me sex advice on how to make babies!  I'm pretty sure that no matter what you tell me about when, where, how, etc - it's still 50/50. 

So, next on my list was to go to Stellie Bellie's to buy something.  I was going to buy pink, of course, but I don't really need much blue.  I mean I do.  Here's another emotion coming on.  I still want this baby to be fresh and new and get new (second hand) things.  I was excited to start fresh.  I'm really happy that I don't have to - I kept a lot of things, but I'm not as excited to go through all of it b/c I'm not that organized and it's all in boxes shoved in the closet in the office/nursery.  I gave away lots of things and the clothes I do have have been through 2 boys, or even got borrowed by other little friends.  It was like the whole girl side of the store was off limits to me.  I was ready to get excited about butterflies and leggings.  That was weird.  I hurriedly went to the back of the store and bought myself two pairs of maternity jeans and a skirt.  I bought a shirt for Isaac, which will eventually be for the baby. 

Then I got hungry.  I have gained 10 lbs already.  I don't really know if that's good or bad, I'm not paying attention.  I wanted a smoothie.  I almost went to Taco Bell for their sugary smoothie-like ice drink, but we'll save Taco Bell for a day when I take Isaac.  I should be healthy for this little boy in my belly.  I went to Planet Smoothie and didn't really want to go home yet to the nursery.  So, I went to Target planning on registering for something blue since I was going to go and register for something pink.  I didn't get the registry gun.  Instead I decided to go buy water balloons for a Friday craft project, scotch tape b/c we're running low, and a picture frame.  I was so happy to see the "brothers" one.  Really, I was.  I started thinking of when I was pregnant with Dylan and didn't know if I wanted a girl or a boy, but kept thinking of how I absolutely loved when my little brothers would wrestle on the floor, or how my dad and his brothers kid around and have good childhood memories, or how the Szasz boys are go good together and how I always kinda wanted a big brother.  And I was happy.  I bought the frame, printed a 4x6 right then at the corner CVS, put an ultrasound photo in another frame, and took the above photo.  I had this boy closer together to the other two than planned, so I'm really glad that they can all grow up together as brothers. 

I'm still not ready to deal with the disappointed looks from friends and the reassuring thoughts and random advice on how to plan my family and the questions on how many we're going to have - BUT I think I'll go take a nap and will work on the nursery.  I'm SO glad I still have the Pottery Barn crib bedding from Chrissy, Tina, and Lacey.  I was going to sell it.  At least I have a healthy wiggly baby boy inside of my tummy.  I've been feeling little kicks and punches for a week and a half now.  I cramped up really bad after that water slide party - but it was because I was dehydrated.  I still felt the baby kick so I wasn't worried. 

Now for the hardest part of this pregnancy - what to name this little guy?  Isaac and Dylan had girl names picked out - Sophia/Sophie, and I can't remember Isaac's name he picked out because he liked Dylan's pick.