thoughts

We did silly office team building activity day where the team building facilitator met us at a park and directed us through a couple of activities. One let the team learn about perspective and many people reflected on that and had ah ha experiences because of that. I had one where was something really had to work together and it meant to be about perspective, but in the middle of it, she us stop and think about our role in what we were doing and think about if that was basically the normal role that we played in the office. I realized that I think that my way is the best way to often. I talk the talk talk that I know there are lots of ways to do something, but internally I still seem to think that my way is the best way and not only that, I feel the need to get in there and do it myself. My intentions are good, but I think I really just need to let go. It really doesn't matter if everybody's happy. Some people are quite content not being happy. And they are fine with not getting along with others and they're fine with not being happy at all. I had just done a team building thing myself the previous Tuesday where I worked through the MGE tone scale and went from telling them how I was irritated after he went home from work and said to going through all of the tones with the various attitudes, until I got to the highest tone of enthusiasm and self reliant etc. I had purchased little pull back school buses for everybody and pretended I was Oprah and jumped up and said and you get a bus, and you get a bus, and you get a bus! And now I just feel dumb. Because in the park team building activity, I realized that I was the one sitting down putting the puzzle together and obviously letting other people help etc., but when I noticed people sitting out, I asked if they wanted to switch places and instead of just leaving to allow them to do so, I felt the need to see it through and finish. But now I see I think that I hurt somebody's feelings, and I think I could've helped somebody else get their hands dirty and been able to take a leadership role. It's a struggle between caring too much and just doing my own role.

At work, I see the boss about to fire somebody so I spread cheer and write love notes and give compliments and give ideas on how we can see eachothers' perspectives etc. I get involved making sure not to gossip and just be encouraging and tell people to go talk to the person who they think is not happy with them etc. I tell them that if ever I don't understand Dr. Brayer, I go talk to her and see that her intentions are good, for example.

I think that taking over the morning meeting and doing it my way probably offended the leaders. That's not good. I think my Gille side comes out. My Grandpa Gille used to say "Stand back. Let me show you how it's done." I thought that was awesome taking initiative and getting things done and being efficient. But it's really okay if things aren't efficient! And maybe they need to learn things on their own. And maybe my way is only the right for me. Anyway. I'm going to stop caring so much.

I just posted this: Sometimes I forget to post pictures. This was my field day - an office team building afternoon at the park. Lots of eye-opening games with a good facilitator who let us do our own self discovery. I liked breaking into small groups to discuss how the games related to our roles at the office. Sometimes I have a hard time letting people do things their own way. I am reminded of the story of my great grandpa Gille who said "Stand back, let me show you how it's done." He would show other people a more efficient way of doing things. My dad and his siblings think how wonderful that is - that they aren't afraid to dive in and get dirty and use their brains to accept a challenge while making it an efficient game. I think I have that Gille gene. It's not always an attractive one. So I'm going to try hard to not spill out my ideas at work. I have basically said "stand back. let me show you how it's done" in trying to be fun and efficient and make things a big game that we'll win while learning how to be efficient so we can move on to the next exciting challenge. I'm annoying. If others want to take leadership roles, great, if not, that's fine too. And there are a million ways to lead. People are content without me. They have their own priorities and that's what makes life so cool. Differences. All of our perspectives are important. I have been humbled and appreciate others but it's going to be SO hard because I have ideas in my head right now and can easily get carried away. It's just so fun to have a good time with these people!