Thursday, July 30, 2015

The Fegers

Steven, older than I with a recent birthday, plays volleyball but took this season off, basketball and is officially on a church team for Tuesdays and some Thursdays and goes through multiple shirt changes form his sweat. He refules with lots of gatorade. He is a good prioritizer and fits everything in. The lawn is better than good enough in the front and is good enough in the back. He is maintaining the pool. We had a dry season that was so hot and we got some black algae in the pool. He snorkeled and scrubbed and treated it over and over until he won. It grossed me out and I wanted to call in an expert. Thankfully I have an expert here! Now we're in rain rain go away season. Clouds every. single. day. Our back yard has standing water so can not be mowed. Somehow Steven keeps up with the yard. We make tons of laundry and the baskets are never overflowing on Steven's account. When the kids miss the basket, they may look overflowing, but they're not full. Dylan thinks the remedy for missing the basket would be to buy one of those basketball laundry things from the commercials. Yea, a smaller target will work. (Actually it would, but would cause extra competitiveness and whining so no thanks.) Steven makes sure we have actual dinners each night whether that means he cooks it or reminds me to do something. He works from home like 3 days/week so is productive on his little lunch break and has good work ethic when working. The kids see that. He is keeping up with his DVR recordings, making room for extra things the kids would enjoy. He does the Publix shopping mostly and all of the errands. He cleans the bathrooms or sometimes gets the cleaning lady for me. He is happy. He has his brother, his work friends, his other friends, and he will not admit this, but his church/basketball friends. He is admired and respected by many many people, including by me. Basically I'd be in shambles without him.

Me, 35 per the last post, well intentioned. I write thank you cards and don't get the stamps on them. I write to my visiting teachees and buy them holiday appropriate things but then don't get to their houses. I meal plan until 4am then both undercook and over cook the food or forget to put the crock pot dish into the crock pot and plug it in before I leave for the day. I take pictures for people then they sit on my camera card for a week then I feel bad for taking long and end up giving away extra images and in doing so take up more time and loose more sleep. I like to nap. I think I may need to nap. I'm an old lady who has so many kids I don't know what to do. I make check lists for the kids to get the priorities done in the morning, then when it spills into the day and we have no time for fun, I feel bad, but then how the heck are we still writing a paragraph on their bed time beds at 10pm? I'm training the kids how work is important, pulling one's own weight is essential to a happy family, I'm starting lessons on money, but time is flying by and I'm not closing the deals by following through. Dylan paid tithing on the lemonade stand but donated not too much to his charity, fast offerings. Isaac has not yet paid the tithing but donated $5 to the animal shelter. I make to do lists then get to overwhelmed to go back to read them. I mean to call or contact friends then they contact me first and I feel guilty. I have lots of ideas for work but not enough time to implement them. I multitask and others get offended when I'm paying attention and doing something else on my phone in front of them. My neck hurts but pillows are possibly not worth it. I want a day without kids or husbands so I can put my clothes away that Steven washes for me and I can clean the floor AND have it stay clean for more than 15 minutes. I listen to conference talks and do personal research on why the church is important and not just having faith. I do research on why the family is important and have family night even though it is so awkward. I want to teach my kids the reason we do things. I do not want them to just do the routine yet routine IS important for kids so I should do more routine and traditions. I should officially do traditions yet not make the traditions things that tie us down or cramp our style. Steven is against traditions yet he made me a perfect birthday crown. I want to teach my kids to hear the music of the gospel so they'll love jaming out in the car to it when alone, and not just teach them the dance steps and expect them to dance when they hear no music when they're on their own in life. I told Tyler that so many people love him then ended on that I love him. It made him smile. Kids need to hear it directly. He asked if I love him even when he does bad things. Yes! He said "that's like Jesus! He loves us when we do bad things too!" I wish I could take credit for that, but he learned that in Bible School and at church. I'm sick of figuring out babysitting. I love Corrie, Doe, and Michael for their amazingness, but it's not fair to Corrie or even, and paying is expensive. AND I need to do other work things, temple trips, and going to the orthodontist with 4 kids was not ideal today. Thankfully we were their only clients at that time, but Dylan chasing a baby running in the room while they're trying to take a panorex on Isaac and I'm trying to do the consult with the doc is not a good first impression. Youth are not exactly really into babysitting. They're into getting some extra spending money, but don't take initiative with engaging with the kids. I'd like another person who would take them to their house or take the kids to a park, to the zoo, on an adventure. But I have too many for anybody else. Even just going over for the day is too much probably for grandparents. Do you know how many other things I should e doing right now? I did the dishes first, so I feel justified, and pictures are uploading right now and that takes a while, so I'm okay. For now. But I think I'll go to bed. And I'll pay a babysitter to take the kids Friday so I can go through one set of pictures for the next back to back to back 3 photo shoots this next week. Aaaaah! Can I handle it? Is it worth it? I need to schedule mini sessions. Why did Michael have to leave??? What a pain. I feel best when... I have been thinking of that lately. I feel best when I read scriptures with my kids, get some to do list things accomplished with them, have painted toes, am caught up with things, and my husband is happy.

My kids are strong. They all love fruit and playing outside. They all love dogs. They all love the Crews.

Dylan, 9, is wise. He really likes check lists. He wants to go down the list in order so requested to practice his violin while I was still sleeping in. I told him he could go out of order and he was impressed and went on with cleaning something else. If I ask all of the kids to do something, he'll delegate by telling them to go do something else so he can do it himself. What a breath of fresh air that kid is. He does the dishes, eats fruit before other foods, remember what I have said and obeys the first time. He will carry Julia from danger and will notice when she has a poopy diaper before she finds me and my nose. He even changes her diaper if I ask if it's just wet. He loves soccer and I feel bad because he, Isaac, and Tyler want to play but it's so wet and living room soccer makes me irritated. Dylan wakes up early and is self sufficient, doing his hair before breakfast. He watches TV unless I have a to do list for him.

Isaac, 7, loves pets. He has 2 frogs smaller than goldfish in a tiny aquarium and a prehistoric "triop" in another small aquarium. He feeds them and watches them, but he yearns for a cat or a dog. I think he'd love a cuddly cat but I'm allergic to cats. His happy place is playing with our neighbor Eirit's dog, Beau, preferably in the rain. He even hugged me and told me that I had made the best smoothie ever and that he was having the best day ever when I took smoothies over to the kids and Eirit complimented the smoothie. Isaac really dislikes smoothies normally if he knows that there're veggies in them. By now he knows there always are, but he didn't even act skeptical or prod me for how much broccoli was in it. He just loved that I allowed him to be brushing the dog. It's hard for Isaac to see the positive in everything. When I took him to one of two playing dollar movies today, he pouted b/c he wanted to see the other. I constantly have to explain that he could see the negative, or appreciate that he's going to a movie at all. I do hear him, but he does not always get his ideal playing on my phone or with a dog scenario. Summer homework is like a punishment to him. He liked setting up a trinket store and was so into the lemonade stand and getting a bank account. I thought perhaps I had finally found his genius. But it didn't last long. I must not have blown on the fire. I'm not a good bellows. He needs my attention and I don't even give myself enough attention.

Tyler, 3, loves to play pretend with Granddad in space, with Michael Popovich as a pirate, with dad fighting bad guys as cowboy ninjas, and playing house with Ivy. He is not a meat eater but will eat it sometimes. His prayers are revealing and we love them. He insists on saying the meal and family prayers and includes insight on his take on the events of the day and baby Everett. He asks if Great=Grandma can come back yet. He doesn't fully grasp the afterlife and resurrection yet and thinks it's taking way too long for her to be resurrected. "It HAS been a long time already."

Julia, 1, is a climber. And likes to color, especially with markers. She likes hair bows in her hair and likes to brush her teeth. She likes a pacifier but if she's overly tired, she'll chuck it. We've lost many, not all her fault I'm sure. She likes to sit in perfect little places like on the steps of Tropicana Field when we were watching the Rays game for Mormon night, our front step below our front door, inside the bathroom sinks (she's a climber.) And our favorite, in our laps. The other day I sat her across from me on the living room floor and put both of our feet out wide so we could roll a ball back and forth. She did it for a while, but staring at my vacant lap wedge was too tempting. She sat down right in front of me, scooted back, and rolled the ball out into the room. Hmmm. The game was over. She does that with books too, she likes books.
She signs ball, poop, water, all done, monkey, bird, dog, book, airplane, bath, brush teeth, again, please, more, milk, and that's probably it. She says "mamamammama, mom" in a whiny voice. Sorta makes me wish she said "dada" as her first parental word so he could go help her. She loves to say "ba" for bath. She has other words but doesn't frequently use them. She whines and is a little spoiled and gets what she needs without words.
She knows what she wants and has no problem whining or crying and arching her back to get it. She wears us out. She likes shoes, but also likes taking them off. She throws things from in her car seat.
She loves her blanket and pacifier when she's tired. She finds them herself somehow and wads her blanket right up while she walks around looking for a place to nest. It's so cute. She loves to cuddle.

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