cinco de Mayo - I'm ready!

This is my excuse. 

For everything. 

For neglecting this blog, for it being 2 weeks since photo shoots that I haven't even given sneak peeks to yet. Anyway, here's what's been happening. We decided to go ahead and try for a 4th baby. Wanting a girl wasn't even one of the factors. We fully expect another boy. We weighed the pros and cons for months. Then one Fast Sunday I fasted and prayed and read scriptures and journaled. I wrote down the pros and the cons and, on paper, the cons seemed superficial. The pros seemed eternally worth it. So I knew what I wanted, but to figure out if it was best for our family was still the question. Steven and I decided that we'd try for a couple of months and if it worked, then yay. If not, then we're completely content with our 3 boys. 

We announced it to our parents and Andre and Barbie on Tyler's birthday by Tyler saying "There's a baby in mommy's tummy." That's how I tried to tell others, by Tyler telling them over the phone. For my sister Kat, I indian-sent her some maternity shirts - asking her to return them at Christmas. She figured it out. 

So I started out bloated. And it's only gotten worse. The "morning" sickness was worse in the morning AND the evening. I was nautious and tried to puke multiple times and even ran to the bathroom a couple of times, twice excusing myself from my patient at work, all in vein though. Even when I tried gagging myself I couldn't actually puke. I had a week of acne, then a month later another month. I have been tired. I NEED naps, long ones. I need to go to bed early too. I get sick to my tummy in the evenings. 

And I feel guilty. Maybe that's not an actual pregnancy symptom, but I'm neglecting a lot of people, places, and things. Time is flying by, not in a good way. The mornings are way too short, the evenings are way too long. Getting the kids through the evening routine and getting terrible-two-know-it-all-Tyler to sleep is exhausting. 

I find out if it will be a girl or boy on Thursday. That's 10 days from the appointment where I thought I would be finding out. They said they have a lab there now and that they'd do the test last Monday. Well, they do NOT have a lab, just a lab tech girl who sends my blood out to the lab. I was bummed and forgot to be so thankful that we saw our baby do sit ups, wave, kick, and wiggle all over in her ultrasound, and her neck fold looks good so she's healthy. Did you notice that? I just said "she." That day was the first day that I really wanted it to be a girl. I just think that would be more exciting. I'm nervous for barbies and princesses though. If I have a girl, I'll get her to like cars and superheros.