Dear Tyler, You're 12!

 Dear Tyler, You're 12!

You're a selfless yet confident kid. You're smart, agile, secure, silly, and know how to read a room. Sometimes you choose not to read the room and get slap happy at the dinner table and crack us all up or get sent to the garage (depending on our mood and you level of respect), and you're awesome. 

You are frugal with others' money. You don't really have your own money since we don't do an allowance or give you big birthday parties and you don't have a job, but you respect money. You got a wallet with money from Grandma and Grandpa. We gave you some cash for your birthday too so when you do want something, you'll have some funds to support it. 

Vicki Crew (AKA Mamaw), takes you to Publix (and often to McDonald's) on Fridays with Ivy her granddaughter, Julia, Everett, and Clara and you try to talk Ivy out of spending all of her grandma's money. You get one thing and are respectful. Dr. Brayer paid you and Julia $100 between the two of you in Target gift cards for cleaning her roof. It was so hot and dirty and you endured two little rain showers while doing it. Julia did a little bit of the work but you said that you could each get $50 to spend (you did 95% of the work.) You agreed to get paid but not a dollar amount and appreciated it and Julia was there and did what she was asked too, so you thougth splitting it down the middle was fair since the card was to the two of you. After talking, we decided you could have 3/4 of it. But we went to Target, Ivy came too, and Julia spent over $50, then you were going to buy Ivy a big rubber ducky AND a surprise toy thingy with your portion of the money but she switched out the duck for another toy. It was interresting b/cyou wanted to gift her the duck to add to her rubber duck collection so you were willing to spend your gift card on that specificlly but she wanted to not get that and spend the dollar amount on some other toy. To you, it wasn't about allotting her a certain dollar amount although black-and-white, it was a dollar amount, but she thinks differently. I saw that you felt unappreciated - that she didn't like the gift like you thought she would. You still gave in since it wasn't worth attempting to explain it since she didn't see it that way. So you ended up spending only like 25% of the $100 including spending money on Ivy b/c you got yourself one or two Rubik's cubes for yourself. So we have some of a gift card left and you were still generous. You were completely happy with your decision. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and contentness. I like watching you kids think and work through things. 

Ivy is your best friend. You two both love playing. She loves shopping and you'll go along for the ride. She loves making Youtube shorts and you'll participate or give feedback. You both like soccer and playing in the water and searching for treasures and exploring. You both love your pet dogs. 

There's a story of when you two went around the neighborhood after we went to the zoo on St. Patrick's day to make money. You did it a little deceptively, but made like $100. Impressive. Creative. but not fully honest - you asked for donations for the Celtic soccer club. I saw you wearing green for St. Patrick's Day. You saw it as an opportunity. Or you and Ivy did. Julia ratted out your plan. So funny. 

Dear Isaac, you’re 17!

Dear Isaac, 

You’re smart, popular, confident, resourceful, strong, use strategy when planned, have the best laughing smile, and still get what you want, for the most part. 

Today you woke up and ate your cinnamon crunch bagel and walnut cream cheese by yourself. Dad had told me in bed he got bagels and would attempt to wake you up. The house was still quiet so I didn’t have my brain turned on enough to go down before. You’re kind and don’t want to be disappointed so asked for a birthday breakfast dad could get you. Steven came back up and was on his phone texting Dylan about Raff’s info if she is going to Uncle Jonathan’s wedding with us then I said something about you and he said you’re eating. What?! I went down and Tyler and Julia were on the big chairs on devices and you were sitting at the table on the other side of the “happy birthday” balloons banner with your crown on almost done with your orange juice and bagel. How sad though! It was a Sunday and we were all available to see you and eat with you and you sat by the wall and we didn’t go eat with you! 

We went to church. We went to H2O and got boba tea, fruit “tea”, a smoothie, and shaved ice 🍧 for your lunch. 

I had taken you shopping the day before and you found 3 jackets at the thrift store and some 1 Million cologne that I got with my Macy’s gift card a patient gave me a year ago for Christmas. It was some “Thrive in 2025” day at Dillard’s so you and I talked to the vendors. A chiropractor told you your head weighs 50 lbs because you hold it in front of you. So you’re going to work on your posture now.

I ordered you a camera card, card reader, and camera batteries charger but the charger is the wrong size batteries  those gifts came in the afternoon so you had nothing to open at breakfast. We did ask you and suggest things to do or get leading up to your birthday but said no to them. I think you will go hang with Dylan though in 2 weekends. The Shaba concert was cancelled. 

For dinner Julia and I met you at Mullet’s. You and I both got fish tacos. We for wings for the appetizer. The ketchup was not good to you but the rest was they forgot water refill even when asked and Jace’s mayo and Tyler’s beans but it was a good birthday dinner  you wore your crown! 

You had Sprite floats then went to bowl with Jace  he got you a shirt with lots of his faces on it! So awesome! 

 

You are fun and like to be adventurous. You’re cautious with committing to things though. You said we spent a lot on our keys trip and I think that played a factor in you saying. Onto some of my ideas. You like quality things. Like the cologne. You still mostly wear Odd Socks brand undies and bought yourself a nice pickle ball paddle. You have gotten your friends to like playing pickle ball and even I voted me to go play with you and your friends! 

You wanted to spend more time exploring with Dylan when we were in the keys but he was doing homework and going to bed early. Raff was with him. You and Noah had fun. 

You are still one who speaks as little as possible to me. You have semi plans but do not tell us until it is immediate for us to say yes or now, preying on my will for you to have the most experiences. So you say you will do chores after. Sometimes you do them. Sometimes you clean all perfect because you want something. But you do not go the extra mile yet unless there is something in it for you. I do see you maturing more though. For years you have turned in homework and gotten great grades. You keep your room clean now too. Jace is your best friend. He is the best. You find ways to earn it ask for money since you don’t have a job nor do you want one. 

You had shoulder surgery on your left shoulder in October and didn’t even try out for the high school soccer team. That is crazy to me. You help carpool Tyler home from schools 3 days a week now. My mom helps a ton when she is in town. Apparently you had taken Tyler driving and even let him do the pedals. What?! He is 13. But Andre did that with dad and Tyler is a great driver. You have been watching Dexter because dad did. You love the beach and sometimes just go.  I love you Isaac. You have HUGE potential and when you tap into your thinking planning or creative parts of your brain, you’re unstoppable. I’m impressed by you all the time  not just when you caught a pigeon at Fogarty’s the other week  although that is silky and brave and random :) 

Live, Mom

Dear Julia, you’re 9

 Dear Julia, 

You started a new school this school year. You thought you should be nervous but pushed through that so easily! We talked about nervousness being kind of the same emotions as excitedness and you saw the good. Your brothers all went to that school, your cousin Clara would be in the same school for her first year in the same grade as you, you would carpool with your brother (and Clara, Everett & Ivy), and Vicki Crew would take you to the Publix shopping spree on Fridays after school! We practiced Tyler walking you over the overpass bridge for before school. 

I'm so impressed with you. You are a morning person, so happy and energized in the morning. You help wake me up with cuddles. You ask me to make you a sandwich the night before but don't expect it since I often forget. You get your own swim bag ready, lunch ready, clothes picked out, hair sprayed and fun, etc. You are a peacemaker with friends. You're intuitive and pick your battles. Sometimes you stand your ground, and other times you give in. Last year, I helped carpool Alexis and Noelle Tiba and they would both want to sit by you. The easy solution was for you to sit in the middle but you didn't like the middle. So actually, the middle became the covetted seat for them because you were firm in not wanting to sit in it. Interresting how you guys work that out, sometimes better than others. You see other dynamics and family rules and respect them. You seem to really get that people can be different and they function just fine in their way and you find your way to peace and happiness. You play well with your siblings. Yes you and I are the messy ones, but I'm ok with that. Andrew loves having you for a friend and you really do play well with that little guy. You play hard with Clara and enjoy Everett too. Today, you and Tyler created We find times to clean up your random socks which are mostly by the shoes these days rather than all over. You ask deep questions like about the solar system and what iffs and listen and process them. 

Learning: You figured out how to log onto your school Canvas dashboard and are utilizing the learniongi tools and videos on your free time. You have an Apple watch and use it to contact us, remind people to pick you up for swimming, text gifs to us, and play Taylor Swift songs you recorded onto it. You read for fun and your favorite books are the Bad Kitty books. You still write letters backwards and area a creative speller but do ask for help and feedback. You got the watch for your 9th birthday and it was odd getting a device for such a young kid, but Clara has one, you're with neighbors, grandparents, at practice, etc and I don't know how to get ahold of you or see where you are besides texting dad or grandma or neighbors. You're still wanting to know I'm close and we felt it would be good. The first thing you texted on your birthday was "I love you" to me. How sweet!

Years ago I wanted to write down that you still scratch my back. It's so sweet and thoughtful and considerate of others. You kids all love when I scratch your backs and you do it without of expecting it in return, you just do it to be sweet. 

You're a back stroker in swimming. Tyler beat you in a race across the pool, but if given distance, you're really good. You dont' fizzle out like some other kids in your age heats at swim meets. You really like swimming and it's 4 days/week! So you go after school to swimming and don't get home until after 7pm. It's a long day and you don't ever complain. Sometimes you're not in the mood to go the night before, but you like it when you go. 

You're a climber. You climb trees and at Vertical Ventures with Tyler. He's stronger, but you know your limits and safely push yourself. You're strong and are much younger. I forsee you continuing to be an agile climber your whole life. 

You take care of your hair. You're not stressed about it, but did go through a couple of weeks where we really worked on keepingi the friz down. You have expensive shampoo, conditioner, gel, sprays, etc. I love your hair and so do you. 

You like plumbs, eat bananas for snacks, drink lots of water as your favorite drink, but also love sweets still. You're picky in that you don't like pieces of things mixed into your foods. For yougurt, you'd rather plain vanilla so not to risk pieces of fruit. You like cinamon swirel bagels but not the cinamon raisin kinds. You're picky in your granolla bars you like but do like fruit leather strips. I think cheeseburgers are your favorite food still. From Chick-Fil-A, you and Tyler both like the Chick-Fil-A sandwiches with no pickles. You're no longer a ham sandwich girl. You'll eat a Wawa sub, but I don't think that's a favorite. You're a little fish and don't get cold in the pool. You swim in our back yard, in Grandma's pool, at the beach, and for swim team. You liked going year round and didn't complain of the cold. You liked the hot chocolate of course! 

You and Tyler like to watch movies on non-schooll nights and it's not easy finding things you both like. 

You and he decked out a Jeep that Grandma got and fit all of your stuffede Curious George dolls in, on, and around it. You built and crafted storage and extra seating and I love you two playing and being little kids. You're proud of your big brothers and brag about them and ask them to show off, like "Show Grandma how you can solve the 4 by 4 [Rubik's cube.] 

I like you, Miss Julia. I sometimes call you "Ju-Lu or Ju-lulia." 

Hi from 2023

 Family is like the most important thing. 

And sharing your family story and journalling are important. My kids are the coolest and I want to remember the details. 

All 3 boys are playing for the Celtic soccer club. Steven is the social media manager and goes above and beyond. The reels he makes are quality, on beat, on trend, with variety, timely, and certainly contribute to the culture of the club. I hear buzz about the previous night's reel form the sidelines. It's impressive. 

Last year, Isaac played for Pinellas County United. It's not far from the house, but was in the other direction. We often had kids at 4 different places for their soccer games and Julia's swim meets. This year, the Celtic club upgraded into the ECNL soccer league so all of the boys in the club will be at the same location together. They still practice between the club's 2 different field locations on different days/times, but the games, although some will be way further away, will all be together! Julia will tag along most weekends. She is not that into soccer so yesterday she colored, read books, brought a personal fan to share, and helped carry her chair and water etc. She put her own hair up too. The boys go to their team shady gathering spots before their games on their own. It was a hot day, but had shade and a breeze and was a beautiful soccer Saturday. 

Bring on the Stress

Dr. Phane shared this Ted talk with us in our morning huddle today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGyVTAoXEU#action=share

We were having sound issues on our retreat in Mexico so we got to continue learning this morning. I love this spin on stress and our health. We keep hearing how stress is so bad for us and to avoid it yet it's pretty unavoidable #amiright This is so positive! Life is full of trials which can make or break us. If they make us, we want to reach out and share with others. We need one another and if we know how to see/use stress, we can help others.

It made me think of how my dad Charles Gille is the master at stress. He has always LOVED a challenge. He LOVES work and the harder the better. It's kind of the Gille way. His dad taught him and his siblings to work, to be efficient, to work together, and to make it FUN. "If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right" has been his motto. He sees something that needs to be done and does it. He sees no point worrying about it, just time thinking about how to do it the most efficient fun way. He loves seeing something that needs to be done for others and jumps in and does it with a huge smile.

I'm trying to find a way to instill a bit into my little family by saying "You're a Feger, Feger it out" instead of their common complaining about something. I want my kids to be thinkers and doers, not worriers. Sorry. Life isn't fair or all for fun, but you've got this!

Read my dad's short email update he sent to us a while ago from his home in Colorado.

Earth life is SO FUN!

My beloveds --

The other day I left home on the bicycle to go get milk & eggs on the other side of the valley, about 3 miles a way. I had barely gotten started when I noticed that I had a pretty stiff headwind, and it was starting to sleet. I started to feel kinda sorry or something for myself. (It had been too muddy to get a motor vehicle off the property, so I was on the bicycle.) Well, I noticed that I was sinking into having a miserable feeling. Uh, no thanks! I stopped (in my head -- I was still pedaling) and said to myself, "Look at me! I'm nearly 70 years old, and I'm bicycling, into a headwind, with sleet, and going across the valley and up a long hill to the milk place! I am SO BLESSED that I can DO this! And I've GOT this!" Instead of having a drudgery-full bike ride, I had an exciting time, BEING full of life and energy and excitement! It was GREAT!

Somehow, I've been blessed to be able to NOTICE how blessed I am, practically constantly. Earth life is SO FUN!

Love,

[Grand]Dad